1. |
imy
02:25
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my heart hurts for no reason tonight
could you say something to make me feel alright
stroke my hair, give me a kiss
lay me down, touch my hips
massage my swollen joints with care and love
rub circles in my neck with your tongue
or all of the above
untie all of my knots
stop looking at the clock
say one thing to fix everything
just text me back and be exactly what i need
cause i miss you
even though i dont know you yet
i miss you
despite all of the gaps
in my knowledge of you
im sure ill love it once its true
but for now you're the angel in my mind
being both my punishment and my crime
the poison and the antidote
the filled up belly and the hungry throat
im sure when we meet...
im sure when i meet you
youll be oh so lovely
and i miss you
or whoever i think you'll be
(to me)
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2. |
the porch song
03:22
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how cold is the balcony in just my socks and sweater
spring came so fucking late this year
i feel the spring to you, tardy and disappointing
did i ever tell you our first kiss was one spring morning
ooh, ooh
the street lamps look so young, tall, and bright
i envy their posture and narcoleptic light
if i could be nocturnal and fine, i would
i hate when you see my face the way i should
ooh, ooh
my thoughts are locked away from me darling
i'd say i love you but we both know it's never me talking
i try my best to be good but it's not in my control
if i could give you anything you know i'd make you whole
ooh, ooh
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3. |
im sorry
01:27
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im sorry my songs aren't complex
im sorry im teetering on the edge
all the time
of whatever
im sorry i cried all last night
im sorry that i bark and bite
like a dog but in a striped sweater
also did you know this thing isnt mine
i stole it from a friend of mine
she left it in my bedroom on new years
and i never wanted to bring it up dear
now i know its hard to see
that im really trying
i went to the gym twice this week
at lunch i had a plate of berries
and if you know me
you know that's not me
but i want it to be
oh i want it to be
oh i want it to be
oh i want it to be
oh i want it to be
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4. |
forget me not
03:04
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he kissed me like he could save me
and i honestly thought he could maybe
bring me back from the dead
but he pushed me over the edge
he whispered my ear "i want to love you until you can't breathe"
i held my breath right then and there because i knew what that means
we're gonna look forward
cause im not going back
we're gonna go forward
but im not gonna forget
no im not gonna forget
no im not gonna forget
no im not going to forget
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5. |
||||
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i see her on your phone
i ask about it home
and you don't say anything
so i dont ask anything
and i know you're talking on the side
i can see through all your lies
but you dont say anything
so i dont ask anything
and im crying after class cause i know
and you come to comfort me but i know
it seems the more insecure i get the more you slink away
the more unravelled i become you talk to her anyway
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6. |
sunburn
02:41
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im not gonna slouch anymore
im not gonna fall on the floor
i wont hold onto yesterday with bright white knuckles
i'll leave my anxiety in the car with my seat buckle
when i go out far
i wont recall when i was subpar
maybe i'll go out to the beach when i get to the coast
maybe i'll go under the pier but probably just eat toast
at home
maybe ill wake up at nine am and drink some water
and be like that
maybe ill go for a walk but most likely just admire something else
from afar like a looking glass or a bell jar
ill write some shit, ill write some more
im gonna try and process and forget it all
ill try to forgive no one but me and myself
who cares if one time i yelled
who cares if one time i tripped and made the wrong face
who cares if one time i was dumb or came to class late
i shouldnt and no one else does
i shouldnt and soon i wont
at least i hope
i hope
eventually i wont be sad over the summer
eventually i wont be such a goddamn bummer
maybe ill find some friends
maybe ill tie some loose ends
turn over a new leaf
die in my bed sheets
who cares if yesterday was subpar
today i will go out far
to the grocery store
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7. |
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8. |
june shenanigans
01:12
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my head feels so heavy and light
at the same time
look at the lights outside
how amazing would it be
if i weren't me
i was somebody else with a different family tree
do songs have an expiration date
could i maybe fly out to space
hide the world behind my thumb
fly out past the sun
nothing is linear, dont you know
the world is not the same as the globe
i feel my heart falling down to my shoes
i know that i would crush it if i moved
i wish that i could laugh at everything
but i dont know what im doing
fuck
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9. |
cant see in the sunlight
02:31
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i know im not that fun
i know that no one wants
to babysit me outside
im gonna go blind
sitting in the sunlight
i'm holding my breath hoping i'll die
no one will look me in the eye
no one wants to help me
what would they get out of it
no one cares enough to deal with my fits
i know im a burden
i know it for certain
theres nothing to gain
out of being near me
and i guess that's how it'll be
you're all annoyed and angry
and that's fine, i get it
i just wish anyone would give it a second
and love me
but i dont know think i would see it
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10. |
a love song for anyone
02:15
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you can be the big spoon and i'll be the little spoon
you can buy me cigarettes and ill regret
whatever i said the night before
when i was kinda drunk and sitting by the door
i haven't met you yet
but i bet when i do i will forget
all my inhibitions
all my failed relationships
all two of them
that left me an untrusting mess
i bet you'll laugh at all my jokes
i bet we'll be two talkative blokes
i bet you'll hold me when im buzzed
and when we're at a party drunk
and you'll notice im nervous
from across the room
and you'll hold my hand
and we'll stand under the moon
and you'll text me when you get anxious
and i'll text you back when i get depressed
and we'll fall asleep holding each other sometime
and sometimes at three am i'll text you obscene thoughts from my head
and we'll never get out of bed the next chance we get
you can be the big spoon and i'll be the little spoon
you can buy me cigarettes and ill regret
whatever i said the night before
when i was kinda buzzed and completely engulfed
in how i adore
you
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11. |
one more lie
03:00
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it took me a second to see
what was right in front of me
it took me a long time to realize
what was wrong and right
and sometimes i want you to call me back
and most of the time i know i wouldn't like that
and i remember it all sometimes
even though i'd rather leave it all behind
its the type of thing that makes me cry my heart out
its the type of thing that makes me scream and shout
i really wish you would stop it all and rot
sometimes i doubt whether last year was real or not
maybe it was all a dream
i'll wake up tomorrow and it will be the same
you'll say that you love me
you'll say you know i'd never do that to you right
and i'll nod cause that's another lie
but ill say
yeah i love you too babe
it feels so bad and wrong
it feels like your favorite song
i said that this feeling will go away and i'd be fine
but it hasn't happened yet so i guess that was
one more lie
one more lie
one more lie
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eden Indianapolis, Indiana
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